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User talk:The Cyborg Pie
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Thread:324366#56|Natural Election Phase 1 page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Lil' Miss Rarity (talk) 15:43, June 16, 2014 (UTC) Don't Don't re-upload deleted pages. If you do it again, you're banned. I'm trying to explain to you why it was deleted in the first place. If I have to ban you, I'm not going to finish that. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 11:01, August 29, 2014 (UTC) RE: Deleted Story First off, read this: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Creepypasta_Wiki:Deletion_FAQ Secondly, I deleted your story because it was poorly written and plotted. The second paragraph is incredibly awkwardly written on top of being blatant, crammed in exposition. The whole thing is very awkwardly phrased and the writing is limp and bland. It reads like a school report with very little effort put in to it. As soon as you mention a video of a house on fire, we know the entire story. There's no mystery. If there was any kind of tension, if there was more to the story than "I got another piece of the video. Then, I got another piece of the video," if it wasn't so completely obvious, it might have worked. But there's nothing to this story. The main character is an idiot. He can't figure out what we did at the start of the story. His friend who talked about burning down houses sends him a video of a burning house and he can't put it together. It's ridiculous. And he doesn't go to the police because the video was deleted? You know he can go to the police and say, "I know who did this" and they would investigate, right? Not every crime reported has a video corroborating the claim. On top of that, doesn't he have the other pieces of the video? We're only told that the last video deleted itself. The nonsense continues with "Oh, the fire happened 10 miles away, I can relax." Ten miles is not even kind of far away. It's very close. And, finally, upon realizing that the video deleted itself, the main character says, "Clever girl." Really? He just watched something incredibly disturbing and he makes a Jurassic Park reference? If your story had been effective up until then, that part would have ruined it. So, to sum up, your story doesn't meet quality standards because there's very little actual content, the main character acts nonsensically. poorly written in regard to phrasing, punctuation, characters and any kind of atmosphere, tension or suspense. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 11:25, August 29, 2014 (UTC) Just So You Know Guy took the time to critique your pasta piece by piece. Yes, his critique is harsh. You know why? Because he wants you to improve. He isn't trying to stroke his own ego. He really isn't. Anyway, I read your deleted story as well. It did seem rushed. You even admitted you got bored with it in your comment. So why not build upon the points Guy gave and make something really good? You're not completely without writing skills. I saw it. The passion is there, but the talent needs to be honed. Good writers are not born. They are groomed through time, learning and persistence. Seriously. You've got this. Take your time with the next story, use the golden points Guy gave, and put it in the Writer's Workshop for review next time. Mystreve (talk) 21:04, August 29, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:09, September 6, 2014 (UTC) Story Your story Isaac has been deleted twice by two separate people. I deleted your story for the massive number of run-on sentences, ("Isaac lay restless in his bed, it was late at night, and the sound of the cold wind outside seemed to be banging on the windows, almost enraged at not being able to break through to the inside."), there were a number of coding errors that typically occur when not using source mode and not previewing your work before uploading, punctuation issues (Commas being misused or missing where needed.), and grammatical/capitalization issues. The story itself was also pretty cliched. A bullied teen with supernatural strength, (Lifting people up by the neck with a single hand, killing adults despite being young, carrying a struggling brother to the ritual area.) kills parents, and gets a deformity/mark. ("He lifted up his shirt, and to his surprise, there, on his chest, was the mark of a knife wound. It was right over his heart. This was The Mark (sic), and whoever wore this mark on their skin was associated with the Dark World and granted eternal life to wreak havoc on mortals.") We get a number of these types of stories on a daily basis and all subscribed to the same cliches. Additionally your forum post that proves 'the wiki is flawed' has coding issues and the text is almost the same color as the background and is practically unreadable as it is a massive wall of text. I would assume the volunteers who help around at the writer's workshop took one look at the story and moved onto more easily readable that users actually bothered to make readable. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:56, September 6, 2014 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's minimum quality standards. Please revise your story accordingly before trying to reupload it again, through Deletion Appeal. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again without any major changes, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. "You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 15:45, September 25, 2014 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's minimum quality standards. Please revise your story accordingly before trying to reupload it again, through Deletion Appeal. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again without any major changes, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. "You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 16:39, September 27, 2014 (UTC) RE: It can be summarized in one sentence: Your story lacked point. I don't mean it didn't have a plot, because it did. What I mean is that it doesn't seem like the plot had a reason to exist. You laid out background about him, then he died, then...well, not much happens. It had potential, but it was wasted since the story practically ended before ithe concept could be fully explored When writing, you need to make sure that what happens in the story leads to something, no matter how minor it is. If it doesn't, then...well, the story turns very forgettable. I recommend that you delete the story and start it again. Plan the most important moments, and lay out how they'll influence the story. "You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 21:16, September 27, 2014 (UTC) RE: No, I'm talking about a central point to the story, a climax, something that at the end of reaidng the story one can look at and think fondly 'so thats what everything was leading to' "You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 21:23, September 27, 2014 (UTC) Collab A collaboration project has already been undertaken here and their is talk of a paragraph-by-paragraph collaboration project by Xelrog. As such, I closed the thread. (Also please post next time in a different forum as writer's workshop is mainly for writers looking for feedback on their stories. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:51, November 7, 2014 (UTC) RE: Story I don't know. Generally, we try to avoid multiple stories on the same page, but if they're all on the same theme, I guess it's okay.--ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 14:26, November 15, 2014 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's minimum quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. 03:37, November 23, 2014 (UTC) Banned You have been banned for one day for reuploading pages that were deleted for quality standards issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:39, November 23, 2014 (UTC) Likferd (talk) 16:29, December 18, 2014 (UTC) Banned You are being banned for three hours for posting topics to the writer's workshop that do not contain a story/request for review. You have been warned about this once already. The next infraction will result in a day long ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:26, December 22, 2014 (UTC) Re: Writer's Workshop If you're going to use a system, I strongly suggest you follow the guidelines. One of which explicitly states: "Do not make separate revised threads. You can edit your original post.". If you haven't noticed yet, the WW gets a lot more than a few stories a day. It seems unfair to clog up the board with multiple versions and revisions. As someone who's had issues in the past using the workshop, I would suggest reading over those guidelines carefully. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:28, March 30, 2016 (UTC) :^ As you haven't read over the guidelines and made the same mistake, you've been banned for a day and your post has been removed. Doing so again will result in a lengthier ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:40, July 1, 2016 (UTC)